Angelariel777.blogspot.com
28.5.08 - 4:35 PM
And darkness falls.
Today has officially sucked.
Sure, I had my laughs is 1st period. But the moment that it started raining and got cold, it was hell.
But seriously, today hasn't been so great. I feel so confused.
Before I transferred here I never had to worry about what I was to people. I never was concerned about missing people, because there was noone to miss. I never had to concern myself with my relation to other people, because I kept so little company.
I regret coming here voluntarily at times. The more I sit and think about certain people, the more I realize how I'm only a representation to them. I am not seen as Bri, rather I'm seen as "someone who I can trust" or "someone to past time with".
I am just seen as a replacement for what they want. To some, I am just solitude's replacement. To others, I am just entertainment of some sort: a song, a slideshow, a picture, a pc or video game, a tv show. To many, I am just hair, eyes, nose, mouth, saliva, tounge, esophogas, stomache, intestine, arms, legs, blood, veins, brain, mucus, nails...I am only a shell. No matter how I'm percieved, it is outside who I am: Bri.
More than anything, I wish that people would just know me...
I despise how one minute I am a friend, the other minute I'm a stranger. I hate how everyone is so cowardly as to not try something new, yet so lazy as to settle for something so beneath them, something they are comfortable with. I hate how people can give up on something that they claim to be of such importance. I hate how people are so inconsiderate to each other. I hate how people claim to be different, how they claim to be a friend, someone who cherishes, someone who cares, and they...flat out lie.
Finally, I hate myself for hoping that they are not this way; thus, inflicting internal injuries to myself.
Posted by Brianka
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