Angelariel777.blogspot.com
4.5.08 - 3:04 PM
I have Returned!!!
I'm BACK!!!
YAY!!!For the cyber dust bunnies who didn't know, i was on punishment for 14 days from the computer for breaking house rules and making a myspace page, but because of house service, i got off early. YAY!!!In a way, i am kinda glad that i was punished. It gave me some time to reevaluate some nouns (minus "place").Before i was punished, i felt pissed, betrayed and confused. Actually, i still feel a bit confused on some things but at least i don't feel as tired from suppressing violent urges
Anyway, i'm asking all of my friends 4 3 reasons y i should remain in contact/friends with them. I already called and asked 1. She gave pretty good reasons. I called another, but he didn't pick up. I was going to ask him the same question, but oh well. I'll ask later.
I have came to the conclusion that noone is going to willingly read my journals. Even if someone does, i really don't care too much.As i meantioned before i have been on punishment for about two weeks, but the original punishment was 2 weeks off the telephone, and one month off the computer. I cut the telphone punishment to 10 days by feeding my pets for about....a week or less. I cut my computer punishment down to only 14 days by feeding the animals and cleaning for 4 days. The point is, i did alot...
Whenever i am concentrated on working on something like cleaning i tend to think.
I am graduating this year on the 9th of June. I am supposed to be enjoying my last few weeks here, and had every intentions of doing so...until 4/12/08 which is dead news so i won't get into what happened.
All of my friends have had some pretty impacting things, aka drama, happen ever since i transferred to this school. I have always tried to be the optimistic one, the one they can count on for support that is not offered by their other peers. I even had the resolve to continue this role after highschool. I didn't mind suffering, and still don't mind to a certain degree, if that means that the few "friends" that i have will be happy. For some, i would even take a bullet....
The problem is that i am suppressing my own problems, and the were swelling up in me to the point where it busted thus resulting in tears every night at 3:00 am from april 12th till april 16th (when i had an epiphany). From that point until just recently, i isolated myself from everyone.
After this whole saga, i have finally came to the conclusion that there are actually pple who don't deserve my company...I'm trying to filter those ppl out of my life. Period. I don't want associates that break their promises or can't keep their words, i don't want hypocrites either. I have also realized that i have to be a little more careful who i trust. There are ppl who i know can't keep a secret, but i divulge to them HOPING they are trustworthy.....
Most importantly, i learned the importance of keeping positive hopes. Yes there is a difference between a positive hope and an negative hope. Here is a nice little example: 1. I hope that mankind realizes their mistakes and corrects them before it is too late. (positive) 2. Whenever the world burns up from global warming and then floods, hope that the survivers learn their lesson and prevent catastrophies like this from happening again.(negative)Basically, live hoping that tomorrow will be better, rather than too readily accepting the negative.
Something else i learned: Don't allow yourself to get too close to ANYONE!!!
Yeah, sure that appears to be an oxymoron compared to what i have typed, but it is also a nice little paradox.
Labels: ....Tell me the lesson that I should learn.
Posted by Brianka
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